All Her Signals are Getting Lost in the Ether

This title goes out to my favorite band, (I know many people that dislike or don't understand how much I can enjoy listening to a pop-punk band as much I do, but that's ok. I still love all my friends! ha) Blink 182- Easy Target.

ps: gotta listen to the new album. it's not there greatest, but it's definitely worth listening to. don't want to buy it? just download it somewhere off this crazy world-wide web.

but the main point/article of this post, is that I will be retiring from this fun yet, (semi-distracting medium) As few of you know, my passion for writing is well above most people but I only revel in it once in a great while. I have stumbled upon, many motivational things that have helped me jump start this post-college "life" I'm currently residing in and if it helped many of you or just a few, I hope you use it as inspiration as much as I do. I might have just crossed paths with the Blogger of Death as reading this has made me want to "retire" from being a "blogger" and actually start writing... which someday may lead to me being a writer (crossing-my-fingers).

I guess, I'll have to start making my donations to save the rain-forests and other such places, as I'm going old school and am going back with the ole' pen and pad. Wish me luck.

As Always... Much Love to You All... Deuces*

Alastar Swift

S L O W  D A N C E

Have you ever watched kids

On a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain

Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?

Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Do you run through each day

On the fly?

When you ask: How are you?

Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done,

Do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores

Running through your head?

You'd better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Ever told your child,

We'll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste,

Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,

Let a friendship die

Cause you never had time

To call and say, "Hi"?

You'd better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short. 

The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere

You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,

It is like an unopened gift thrown away.

Life is not a race.

Do take it slower.

Hear the music

Before the song is over. 

- David L. Weatherford -

Letters to Heaven

Dear Best Mother Fuckin' Friend (BHP),

Shit has been crazy since you've left this hectic place I call home. It's been a crazy fucking 3 years+ since I've seen or talked to you. I guess it's been killing me that I haven't been able to tell you a single fact of my life since and it deeply fucking sucks. As you can probably see from up above (or at least I hope you are looking down, ha!) I've almost done a 360 since you've remembered. I really don't enjoy drinking as much as I used to, and am at your level when you told me that same statement. I wish I could have understood you then, but I was still a young kid (still am) and just went with the liquid that murdered my liver. I guess I should probably start with the moment or at least the summer/college year when you followed that different path.

That summer, I had to go back to the school system... Shitty, I know. You always told me that you were going to get me a better job and had lined up enough houses and projects that you would leave me with 13k that summer. I had never been so stoked to work that hard in my life. But on the other hand, that summer at the school system wasn't bad. Joe and I got to work together and we put together several different obstacle courses to jump through.

That fall semester of college (junior yr) was pretty fucking tough. I think that is where I totally failed at life and took 13 credits. I wanted to be a teacher. of all things... a Math Teacher. That lasted... about a month when I realized that I'd have to stay in college another 2 years or so. I guess that shit didn't really fly with myself. (I'm not positive on why though)

That following semester.. You'd drop down and make fun of me all day and night if you knew this.. but I joined a fraternity. The best part is that you'd laugh your fucking ass off and be like "fuck yeah, nate!" when you heard the reason why I joined the fraternity. I convinced my roommate to join me with this "pledging" process so that it didn't look so bad. I honestly couldn't take my eyes off her. Little sad, I know.

I did join the "frat" solely on one reason. Yes, a girl. Surprising, I know... but another thing happened that semester that took my fear off of that after failing many times from even talking to her (and people say that I'm not shy... I'm shy as Fuck!) I remember you wanted to watch me play Lacrosse the spring before up at the Excel center (I still wish that you could have) but after my failing attempt at my dream girl, I really put a lot of effort into becoming a solid lacrosse player. You know me, there's nothing better I love than team comradery and competition. Of course, me being me at a measly 137 (lbs) I got worked up and down the field. It was the best.

Senior year of college (or at least the 4th year) I finally understood why you liked to smoke more than you drank. Imagine all the times we could have made cash money off Mystic playing 21 when we were up with the moon. I finally realized it, 2 years too late. I started watching too many documentaries and becoming one of those information D-bags. Learning how to take advantage of mere human being as I was being taught the college education of being a business student. Looking at customers/people as dollar signs, and how to make a dollar... I realize I was in the wrong profession. This was about the time when I got heavy into graffiti and skateboarding. You have no idea on how many times I ate shit on the pavement while skating drunk.

That spring semester... I don't even know how to put it into words. If there was one semester I remember when I'm that old-cocky-son-of-a-bitch at 90 I will remember this one. It's one of those when everything just goes right. Even when I did fuck up, somehow I found my way out of it and back on track. Remember that dream girl I had talked about before. Yeah after a long long year of working my awful game.. somehow it worked. Must-have been my "awesome" charm! haha, not. During that time, I regretfully quit lacrosse... It had gotten too political and it stopped being fun. I remember you always told me that if I'm not having fun it just isn't worth the effort. I started to let that health bug return and I became an awful... pure awful health nut.

That summer I found an internship that rivaled your pay, haha! It sucked they didn't pay straight cash like you did! I had to drive a total of 2 hours each day, had to juggle summer school and a long distance relationship. and I fell apart. I totally failed at everything. I always remembered you telling me that long distance relationships aren't worth it. Won't work because you said that eventually one of them will come to realize... WTF are we doing. but I'm going to have to go against you. They can work, it just takes a lot of effort. And of course it failed, but I still believe they can work to this day. Now I just have to find a girl that's willing to be in a LDR to prove ya wrong!

My 5th year. Holy shit. Talk about choices. It sucked. I told myself after BK that I wasn't going to be down about girls, but I was horribly wrong again. It was one of those, cliche, "who the fuck am I" moments. I wrote more, played guitar more, worked out more, and played basketball almost everyday. It was one of the best semesters I've ever had. I guess this one really is just a segway to the real story of this post.

I never knew that I would actually go to a foreign country. Where I barely knew the language. Where I didn't know a single person. Where no one really knew English. Where I could actually get lost and have that feeling of "oh shit, I'm actually and truly fucked." But I did. I traveled half way around the Earth to a little awesome country called Taiwan. There are countless number of amazing people I met. Countless number of stories that I can tell and just hands down experience that I wouldn't pass up for the world.

I guess all I really wish I could say is that I fuckin' miss everyday that I can't call you and say what's up like old times. I drive by your house, the one where we'd climb to the roof, and prank cars. You were the one that taught me that I should buy cheap bread and OJ along with a couple dozen eggs so that we wouldn't get caught. Even though it's been 3 years, it honestly feels like yesterday we were cruising around the lake and almost getting me killed in one way or another.

Regretfully, I'm on a huge health nut-kick where I'm expecting to live to about.. 250 years old, so I want to say see you soon, but.. I got a lot of shit to do down here.

Keep the Coffee Brewing

8/7/11 - Thought of the Morning

Man, the sunrise looks legit in the fall. Nature just looks so damn pretty during the middle of the sunrise. Yes, I said pretty.

Nootropics + Doodling + FBM = My Life

So for this past week, I splurged and bought some Nootropics. I've been trying to track the progress (or even any effects) that I felt through the week. I really haven't felt anything way different except that when I go outside, I could honestly just sit/stand and be totally amazed by nature. I used to do this before, but not to the extent of where I do now. It's actually creeping me out a little. Just because the fact that I'm in awe of how everything just works together and fits together almost perfectly. It's weird, almost I can't explain it to the full extent.

Another thing I've noticed is that math and problem solving has really improved. I could always do math in my head but it would take me a little while to do multi-digit multiplication. Now it's like being able to see the numbers written out in my imagination and then just quickly solve it as I would if it was on a piece of paper. For some reason, I'm able to apply imagination with math and problem solving (mostly work situations)

The last thing I've really noticed is that, my guitar playing ability has really picked up. I saved this one for last, since I do not know if it's really helped me out here, or that the fact it been almost been 4 years of playing and that I am finally reaching a point of where I'm comfortable with it and am able to create something. Whatever it may be, musical creativity has definitely improved.

I've been taking 5-HTP for the past month or so. This is also another nootropic. From my knowledge, it helps produce serotonin. I usually take one pill an hour or so before I go to sleep. Why you ask? because I just blast off into a whole new world when I dream. I've had so many vivid and lucid dreams, where I can acknowledge that I'm dreaming, keep the dream alive (without waking up) and keep rolling. Just as an example, the past two most vivid dreams I've had the past couple days involved, being pushed out of a helicopter (Scared of heights? I definitely am!), plunging into the ocean, swimming, and being able to breathe underwater. The other one I was full emotion ups and downs, trying to fend of a pride of female lions from overtaking my family farm. It was intense from almost getting attacked, being saved, to saving a person. It was an insane dream.

The one thing that I do remember about 5HTP is that for the first few days I tried taking it, I slept awful. After awhile though, best sleep ever. Completely knocked out until my alarm goes off (usually I fully wake up a minute or two before the alarm) and usually have crazy dreams that I remember for the entire day or even a couple days. (I've been writing them down lately, keeping a notebook on my bed stand.)

I stumbled upon this great little mini presentation by Sunni Brown ß Check it out! She talks about how being a doodler may be related with creative thinking and comprehension. I think it's great because I am definitely a doodler where I'm always creating little designs and shapes with multiple colors.

My usual doodles

This is what most of all my homework, notebooks, or pretty much anything school related looks like. Ranging back to early high school, I remember always just doodling during classes. Maybe that's why I could keep good grades during my entire academic career. Doodling is as easy as this! (ViHart might be one of my many dream girls... Who doesn't like a math nerd!?)

=====================================

So I forgot to submit this blog from last night, so I'll compact this little segment along with it.

I've been on that nootropic for almost a week. Today I finally felt just amazing, it was one of those feelings of "being on a roll, and nothing can stop you". It was a crazy feeling, since, well I don't really do much... ha! But.. I did get a Full Body Massage this morning. Hands down the greatest thing ever. I think everyone needs to get one of these things. To be honest, I can barely remember anything from the hour. I went to this weird zen-state, I was thinking about what I was going to do for the future, playing what-if games with different situations in my life, and just trying to play out my life if I followed a certain path. All of a sudden, they were like, "Alright Nate, I'll meet you down stairs." I was like it's over, it's been an hour?! It was probably the best way to start out any day. I'm finding somehow to get my healthcare to pay for me to get one massage a month. I honestly think EVERYONE needs to get one of these now, soon, or in the near-near future. Worth every single penny.

Hopefully all this will get me ready for a Golf Tournament this weekend. We'll see if these nootropics can help my game... I heard it was all mental

Cheerio,


Alastar Swift

To All My 40 Hour Friends

So I've been fortunate enough to join many of my good friends in this game we call "Real World". You know the great 8 hour days + anything else we may have to do outside of work to help us be efficient and successful at our job.

Last week, was the first time I had put in 40 hours of work in probably almost a year and after it, I felt drained but happy. Happy that I found a job to pay my bills, and that I survived not just 40 hours of work, but also the first week of having a gym membership. There was nothing else I did NOT want to do after 8 hours of work than go to the local gym. It sucked. It left me dead almost every single night. I think I even went to sleep at 9:30 pm a couple nights in there. But when that Friday rolled around it felt amazing. From being active, accomplishing multiple things from getting a job, working out, and changing my entire diet.

Even though it was one of the hardest weeks, physically and mentally, it was well worth it. I kept riding this Accomplishment Wave that I started up and rode it well into the weekend. I woke up at 7am Saturday morning... Yes, 7am Saturday morning. I went out and had breakfast with my dear ole' Mother and Grandma. I spent the rest of the day cleaning my room, throwing numerous amounts of junk that had accumulated over the 23 years of my life, and donating a majority of my clothes to the local thrift store.

I have this fear of being owned by the products and articles of clothing that I buy. I know this sounds crazy. And I guarantee I think it's as crazy as you do. But I just have this feeling that the more stuff I buy, The more things start to own me. 

And to try and explain myself, I'll use my xbox or a favorite TV show. Now I love to spend time playing video games with my friends and to talk about TV shows with friends, espec HIMYM. 

But... 

At the same time, both things (in my mind) take up my time, where I could be pursuing different things that I really want to become good at, such as: Guitar Playing, Playing Piano, Writing (Books, Blogs, and Songs/Poems), Speaking 2nd Language, and becoming a "Life Coach". 

(I put life coach in parentheses because I know some people take advantage of this, and make money. I'd rather do it just to help my friends pursue their dreams, give them confidence and help them along their journey, and help random strangers too)

On that same Saturday, I started to write a story with my friend. Currently we are planning on it being a movie script... But I'm feeling that it may progress into my first book. I'd love to share it, but at the moment it's not copyrighted nor do I have a lot of structure to it. (It stands at 25-30 minutes of film time, So I guess there is a good amount)

And not to go into too much detail but Sunday was the most productive day since I've been back in the States. 

I guess I left out a big factor from all of this. I actually know why I have been trying to be more productive and be less of a procrastinator. I visited one of my best friends a couple weekends ago and we were talking about a video that I told him that I watched every morning. (Refer to "The One That Fell Through" and click on the link Inspiration) After that, he showed me an even better video. That hands down has changed my life. Changing by making it easier for me to get off that couch, turn off the TV, grab the guitar, grab the writing pad or grab the Chinese book. 

How Bad Do You Want It?

I hope that, it inspires you as much as it has inspired me. I hope it takes you to follow whatever it is that you want to do, whether it is to be the best accountant/finance rep or to being able to wrestle an alligator. I mean, I just finally, after 23 years, baked a batch of homemade brownies (which were LE-GIT!). I always wanted to be a Profess Cook back in High School and I've started to write again. I actually have a published poem. (Surprising, I know) 

I guess what I want to say is. Go find what inspires you. Everyone is different and we all pull different experiences/emotions the same situation. We just have to find what we are drawn to and how to keep ourselves inspired to follow that path, even if we have to venture the beginning alone. 

Much Love,

Alastar Swift

The One That Fell Through

All I can think about is. the future. life. And the craziness that falls between.

I've been wrapped into this terrible preface of, making sure that I don't make all the wrong choices. That everything I will be doing has some greater impact on my life and how I want to mold my future. I think I've been handling that area of expertise way to much. There no possible way for anyone to do that.

I've been trying to plan. plan everything. Which is the very opposite of what I enjoy doing. I rarely like planning things. I'm much more of a.. designer? Maybe I can explain, since I really can't find a word that works.

I've learned through the easy and the difficult things in life that everything can change in a heartbeat. And that planning (for me, anyways) does NOT work. I always seem to have these epic plans. Awesome plans that I'm so stoked about, that would make everything awesome and sweet. But to my surprise (every time, I think it'll work) it falls apart miserably.

So I'm trying this new thing called.. Life Designing. From my twenty-odd years of experience, I've learned that life is nothing I can plan for, all I can do is hope that I've remembered all the lessons from the dumb mistakes (I've made) and apply them to the events that come to me as I travel on this flying-rock of a planet.

I can't really prepare for the unexpected, but I can hope that I've learned enough to be able to make the right choices when the time comes. I have a few major events in my life where they had left me totally-and-utterly shocked because it all came out of nowhere. I only bring this up as there was no way I could have either 1) seen it coming or 2) even planned for something of that nature.

The only things that I could fall back on were the things I had learned up to that point, my Amazing Friends, and the basketball court.

I lost touch with myself as these few months have gone by with my awesome unemployment time. It has been the best bitter-sweet moment of time I've ever enjoyed. I've had more time to think... ignore... loathe... and love what my life has the potential to be.

I've been listening to this video almost every morning since a great friend of mine told me about it. Inspiration! Sometimes we have to leave everything behind, to go get what we really want in life. I've spent a lot of time in the local Barnes&Nobles looking through novels... and my new favorite, personal improvement section. I try to make sure most of them have something to do with Business, or something that I'm extremely interested in, but it's literally like a bunch of people explaining the crazy situations and events that have happened to them and they explain what they pulled from it. (What I usually like to do, is figure out what I would do in that situation... Is it 100% opposite or is it quite similar to what they had done?)

I scanned through this one autobiography which I randomly opened to a page and zoomed to a paragraph. I can't remember verbatim what he had wrote, but it was on the lines of...

Sometimes we have to realize the bad "friends" in our lives... the ones that aren't helping us improve. The ones that aren't there trying to help you reach your full potential. Sometimes you think you can just move to a new location and everything will change. Nothing will change unless you realize the type of people that are bringing you farther away from your dreams. You have to have the strength to want to improve your life, even if it means that everything you know, is such a awful environment for you to grow in this life. You only have one, why waste it.

That one got to me. I'm not sure why. But it really hit deep. I've yet to shake those thoughts my my brain. It's always funny to find what sticks and what doesn't. This quick glance of a paragraph, sticks yet... I spent countless of hours trying to get random business facts to stick in my head for test day... weird

I'll leave on this note. Listen to this song. 

Until next time... Much Love

Alastar Swift

Who Packs Your Parachute

Since being back from Taiwan and being a "College Graduate", it's been a pretty slow process of finding a job. I've spent a lot of time going through all my old things and pretty much either donating it to the local thrift shop or throwing away old notebooks and notes. While going through all of the old stuff I ran into a bundle of High School homework and class notes that brought back some great memories. Things that I have forgotten over the 5 years that I have spent experience the "College Life". One of the best finds that I had stumbled upon was this Creative Writing class that I took senior year. I found some old stories that Billy and I had wrote and just laughed at how horrible they were but back then I thought they were the greatest things in the world.

As the sunset shined down on the coastal city of Eschenbach, our hated leader marched into the peaceful place much happily. Pulling into the driveway of the multi-million dollar house he confidently stepped out of his midnight shadow Benz. 

As Everyone knew him as "Papi", we knew him as Walter Crome. Walter had the figure of a young sapling of an oak tree, but his dress mesmerized people of being a celebrity from the Americas. Just glancing at the godly figure made people dream of having his seven figure endorsements. His haircut was like that of the tight rows of corn from the land of the Midwest of America.

He confidently walked to his eight figure condo not thinking about the dangerous ventures that could attack him from any direction like a panther. As the redwood doors open he introduces himself back to his fantastically feather soft California King. Walter just takes a round off and slips into the fantasy world like the ones all little kids do.

Drifted off, the only noise he might wake to is the silence of his house. As he arose like a dead king from the pyramids, he checks in the dungeon of his castle. He surprisingly finds a timer and the only thing he hears is a tick, tick, tic...

-BHP&NM '06

Well that's an interesting beginning to one of the stories that we had worked on back in the day. I might have to finish this story or at least put some time into it and see where it takes me. I had forgotten how much love I had for writing until I looked back at all the little poems or little verses and haiku's I had composed. The one thing that surprised me the most (and to which had inspired me to write this post) was a short paper about a long forgotten topic. It was a paper that I wrote about my Creative Writing Teacher and it goes a little like this.

The one person that has helped me realize everything is Mr. Moon. He taught me to think about all the good people that make it easy for me to get through the day. He told me, "Think about who packs your parachute?"

That statement has broadened my horizon and now I'm thankful for all my friends. those friends that have helped me through sports, school, and hard times. I would have never even thought about what they do for me if it wasn't for Mr. Moon. 

From this day on I will forever remember what Mr. Moon told me about "Who's packing your parachute" because I'm going to be more grateful of everyone that helps out. I now realize that I need to appreciate life a whole lot more because I have friends that care about me. I shouldn't disappoint them, I should pack their parachutes like they pack mine. 

 He also teaches me that being an individual is not a bad thing. The way he talks and acts gives me the idea that I don't have to be secluded into the normal society. He shows me I can be my own with a humor that has my creative touch to it. He has the confidence to not care what people think about him and I should learn from him not to care either. Most of all I should be my own individual. I'm sure I'll learn many more lessons from him in the future, but this time I'll be more appreciative to his life long lessons. 

Sometimes in life we get so busy and we forget to tell the people that mean most in our life about how thankful we are to have them be a huge part of it. To be honest, I did forget about the phrase, "Who packs your parachute." (Sorry Mr. Moon) but I thought it's a pretty creative little saying. For me, it gets hard to stay in touch with some friends that have been a life saver for me since we are no longer in the same area code and that we both become so busy in our own life. It is sad to realize that sometimes your best friends become things of the past as we grow apart and we start our "new" life path. It takes a lot of time and effort to make some friendships last but it never hurts to give them all a call and chit chat for a little bit. You never know when some people need that phone call out of the blue to help cheer them up as they may be facing some scary decisions or hard times. 

I hope that we can all give a little shout out to the old friends that "packed our parachute" and see how they are in their crazy adventure called life. 

Until next time friends. Stay Classy

Cheerio,

Alastar Swift

PS: Anyone know of some job openings? :)

Inspiring People Since 1988

Inspiration. We all have it. At times we lose it. Other times we have more than we need.

Being able to control it though, maybe one of the toughest things in the world. I've seen the brightest days and I've seen the darkest. Nothing makes me want to create the best days of my life like from experiencing the worst.

When I'm at the worst days, it feels like nothing is ever going to go my way and I question, "Is this how my life is going to play out?"

But when I have those amazing days, it feels like I can't be stopped. I mean, on the top of the world kind of stuff, where everything seems to be able to just click.

I'm still only 23 and still a young'n with a lot to learn but this is just a tad bit of what I've learned from all the craziness I call life.

Inspiration is on my mind because, I'm sitting here. Getting denied by job after job. Living in a town that almost the only thing to do is drink on the weekends. (and drinking is getting real old for me... and my liver!)

I had a plan. After I returned to the states. It wasn't a solid plan but at least I had a reasonable sounds one. As I've learned in life... (This may be why I dislike planning) plans never work out like you think they do.

I've taken a lot of time to figure out what the hell I'm going to do with my life. Whether it be more of a creative path way or a path of helping people. Somehow I'd want to mix both paths at the moment but jobs and opportunities are quite slim at the moment. (and let's be honest, no one wants to hire a Business Administration degree graduate... what do I do with that major anyways! ha)

I've been trying to stay on top of my creative side by reading a lot of books, fiction and non-fiction. Trying to keep up on my writing, creating a movie about my trip to Taiwan, painting and trying to learn how to play this 6-string of mine.

Helping people. If I could. I wish I could start a career out of that. But I've know people that are in that line of work and it gets depressing. Depressing to see how many people out there have it 10x worse. May it be their fault or not, the struggle is out there.

One of my favorites. Jacque Fresco states: "There is no purpose in life"
To me.. Instead of getting sad. This gives me inspiration to accomplish things because knowing that I have no purpose in this life makes me understand that I need to create and take what I want out it.

BUT...

I have troubles doing this. I have troubles knowing where and what path to take in life. I have troubles knowing whether or not to keep fighting or to give up and let go. Having such a structured path for the past 18 years of my life. To me it's a little, no it's really frightening to have such an open future. The ability to do anything. (finding the opportunity would be the hard part but nevertheless...) Region, demographic, climate, culture, etc... It's just a tad bit scary because... What way do I want to go? (I mean.. they all sound awesome.)

Within the past year, I learned about a little phrase called, "Blessing in Disguise." Which to me is a little better than what I always say. "Look on the bright side or it could be worse." (One of my best friends hated me when I use to tell her that.) But in all actuality, I'm blessed with all this free time to be able to sit down and figure out my shit. Spend time learning the things that I've always wanted to and to dedicate time to things that inspire me everyday. To take time and research what type of activities and gyms/clubs are in the areas of jobs that I'm applying too. Most of being able to spend time with all my friends.. even if I have to drive a couple hours to go see them every weekend.

The biggest inspiration in my life would be my best friend. Even if he isn't here with me on this giant rock of a planet we call Earth. He's still one of the most influential people in my life. Learning that life is short. There's no time for bullshit and worrying about the small shit. It's hard to reflect sometimes because it still seems surreal that it's been over 3 years.

The real question would be. What inspires you to do your best everyday. I think sometimes we forget to remember what inspires us to love this thing we call "life". It's always good to get back and remember so that we can keep living the dream. You've heard a couple of mine, and I hope you take time to think of the things that inspire you...(and/or thank the people that inspire you.)

Wish the best for you all

Cheerio,

Alastar Swift


PS:

he said... "It's not that I'm mad, It's I'm disappointed,"
It's like you just up and disappeared, never shedding a tear.

Leaving me with this empty feeling,

Along with a busy tone which would always appear.

"Hopefully this is the right choice," he said. 

Cause it's never easy...

To be so right

NLM - 7/22

 

Book Report!

It's been... I don't know, maybe 11 months since I've done a book report. I was actually hoping to say like 11 years, but then I remembered my senior capstone class of college required me do a book report on War Games. And if you knew about that class, I learned just about everything I need to be a successful business man. (or so they say). Surprisingly, this book report is going to cover a little known series written by, Stieg Larsson, which I read solely for leisure purposes. There are only a select few books I've ever read for those purposes, Harry Potter series, blink, and the Alchemist. (Great books I might add)

Before I get started, one of my biggest pet-peeves is when published books (be it a college text books or a novel) contains spelling mistakes or grammatical errors. Now I do understand that I am no where being perfect in the whole writing department as my spelling and grammar have always been horrid but I'm just disappointed in seeing it in places where I have to pay money. This novel series only had a couple mistakes, which were just minor spelling mistakes. [Challenge: Can you find them?]

I highly recommend these novels to anyone that enjoys reading fictional novels because this was a spectacular read. I don't want to ruin it because I would love if everyone had time to enjoy a little light reading with it and I had no knowledge of what this series contained when I first started. I first started off buying this little thick packet of pages with a green cover that contained the orange letters, Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Then I blasted off into this surreal story that plops down in the snowy hills of Sweden. Honestly, this had me captivated the entire time. My imagination led me to create this entire story in my own mind and every single chapter just brought more elements to this create this "movie" in my head. The author does a great job of moving the story in the beginning even if the first 100 or so pages are quite boring. [But trust me, it's totally worth fighting through them!] 


By the end of the first book, I was blown away. It had me just dying to figure out what happened next. It was like that itch where you really couldn't do anything else without thinking, "Aaah I want to know what happens next!" So I try the impossible. I try to find the next two books in the middle of Taiwan. Where the English book section in book stores are way in the back and have the smallest shelf space. It took me a couple tries (pretty epic adventures I may add) but I finally did find both of them. I usually did a lot of the reading in the mornings as no one really woke up in the dorms until 11 am (early) through 1 or 2 pm. So I usually read for a couple hours until everyone woke up and then went to grab food together.

I pretty much finished the second book in a week. I couldn't put the book down. It was an insane adventure. It was pretty much my favorite book of the 3. It picked up right from the end of the first and didn't stop moving until the very end. There were no slow parts and there were parts where I had to be, "Put the book down. Now." The only bad part of the book, there wasn't an end. It just stops and rolls straight into the beginning of the 3rd book. That's where you have to have the 3rd book, or else you may go crazy not knowing what will happen next.

The third book took me the longest, as I pretty much stopped reading because it didn't really fall into an importance in my life anymore. (There were some other factors that made me stop reading it, but that really isn't important at this moment) I did just finish it now though... finally after about 3 or so months and I am very glad that I finished it. Starting up again brought back the story line, all the characters, and the side plots that I had forgotten from taking long breaks from the book. This book differs a little bit from the other two as it's setting is different than the other two. By no means is it the worst though. I could argue that the last one is the greatest, as I'm sure that one could argue vise versa. Either way, it's still a solid book full of captivating moments and paragraphs.

To be honest, to write a good book you really only have to follow a couple rules. {just my thoughts}

1. Your main character(s) has to have something they didn't have in the beginning.
2. The character goes through a sensible situation that creates that change or difference
3. The plot makes sense. It's realistic to a reason and it's able to connect with the reader

By none, am I saying that writing a good book is easy. It takes some writers years to write a great one. With that said, this book series contains excellent character development which contains a wide variety of different personalities for each. Each character had their own struggle which tied them to another character with surprisingly great twists. It always astonishes me how authors are able to tie everything together, which always leaves me speechless after.

I do have to throw out a thanks for the one that recommended this book. As I learned a lot from this book. I would love to tell what I learned and what I pulled from it but at the same time I wouldn't want to chance that I may ruin any part of this book series.

So I hope that one day, someone will finish this book. Be as captivated while reading it as I was and I would love to chat-chit about your thought and share mine. 

One more thing. Please don't watch the movies. Just like everyone else says, "Movies ruin the book." I watched the first two movies while in Taiwan with some great friends but it just didn't bring out the story line like how it is portrayed in the book. Anyways, until next time... 

Stay Classy

Alastar Swift

PS. I'm working on a sweet Taiwan Project. Be on the look out!

Make Money!

So it’s been quite interesting being back in the United States of America since I spent about 5 months in Taiwan. I’ve came back to an almost dead town where I don’t really have any close friends, nothing is open later than 10 pm except for Kwik Trip and the good ole’ 24/7 Super Wal-Mart, and there is no gym that is worth paying for.

This has almost made me go crazy since I ask myself… “What is there to do?” Other than spending most mornings 8am – 12pm in a local Internet Café so that I can job search, I have nothing else to do. Except that I have a million things I need to do. I think it comes to that point where I have so many things to do, that I just don’t want to do any of them. I have about 4 books that I need/should finish reading, I’ve always said that I need to get better at playing guitar (which I have a very nice giant guitar book and a Guitar Chord Bible*), practice and learn new words in Chinese so that I don’t forget this awesome 2^nd language, and my current goal… learn how to play the piano. I’ve always have had this passion for writing and creating music, but I never acted upon it since, well… I couldn’t (still can’t) sing, back then I couldn’t play any musical instrument and never had time because of sports or [in college] I just partied way too much.

So at the moment I’ve been looking for a very cheap but decent keyboard so that I can start to practice learning piano since I pretty much have nothing else to do. Also I’ve picked up a notebook and some color pencils so that I can practice drawing/doodling. This hobby is important because it compliments one of my most fatal flaws of having to multi-task everything I do. Like this very moment, I am writing a blog post and watching a movie (Prince of Persia). It has dawned on me [since I’ve been here] that I cannot just do one task. I always have to do multiple things except surprisingly I can read a book for hours. Weird, I know. But usually, I multi-task by watching movies/tv shows with surfing the web. I’ve been trying not to spend so much time on this MacBook, and have been trying to spend more time on productive things… or at least things that I think are worthwhile, like: guitar, drawing, Chinese, reading books and writing. It’s been surprisingly tough. I didn’t think that I was so addicted to surfing the web/[let’s be honest] Facebook.  Even though, I do practice my Chinese on Facebook by writing to my friends overseas only in Chinese. But still, it’s FB.

Since I have no job and no income what so ever, I have had to turn to desperate measures. Donating Plasma. Today was the first time, and in 2 days I will have my 2^nd appointment for the week. I found a coupon where the first two times will give me a whopping $100. Rock On! Anyways, this process is the weirdest thing in the world. It sucks out your blood and separates the plasma and blood for 5-6 minutes and then it reverses the process and pumps back the blood into you. This goes one for about 45 minutes and then at the very end they pump an IV back into you, since plasma is made up of mostly water. Having the IV pumped back into you was the worst/weirdest part. I could honestly feel the IV being pumped into my arm, then into my heart, and then being pumped down my left side. It was the weirdest feeling. The feeling was a little painful just because it was so much colder than the blood in my body. I felt a little lightheaded but nothing too bad as I drank a lot of water before hand and the night before. But it’s all worth the great $40 I made and I’m sure next time it’ll be worth the $60. The only thing right now that I’m thinking about is to keep continuing this process. After this week it’ll only pay $20/40, respectively. But then again it’s kind of like free money. Except for the fact I give a little bit of myself to some stranger.

In the end I can always say… A little bit of me will be in whomever I save…. Creepy

Well until next time,

Cheerio & Rock On

Alastar Swift

P.S. * the Guitar Chord Bible… Funny story, my old roommate let me borrow his Guitar Chord book since I was playing guitar almost every day. After a while the time went by and I forgot about it and he forgot about it. Then when it came to me moving out [so I could go to Taiwan] we realized we had two books. He never bought another one and I never did either. So for some weird reason that house has the power to create stuff out of thin air. That’s what I call, Skillz!

P.S.S.  Speaking of creating things out of thin air, have you seen the 3D printer that is out there?!? I can’t wait until that technology gets 10x better.

Just Another Day at the Café

Successful Day 1 of job-hunting right? I wish. The thing is that there is a bunch of jobs. Awesome. Jobs that I’m qualified to do. Slim to none. I have always said that there are jobs out there but people don’t want to take the ones available because they are “below” their expectations. Well I think I’m about ready to say F-it, and try to find a bunch of part-time jobs at the moment. This full-time-job-finding-business is almost as annoying as that stupid mosquito that wakes you up at 4am and keeps buzzing in your ear. You swat and miss... 5 minutes of peace before it comes back.

This is kind of like my job-hunting at the moment. Except that there’s a constant number of jobs that are everywhere, but only every so often I find one that actually sparks an interest… then I click on it and read all the descriptions, and I’m like: “Rock on! I can do this”… Keep scrolling down and read the requirements… Check, check, check, … and then, BAM! How am I supposed to have 2-3 yrs experience for this entry-level job!!!! What is going on here… this is crazy. I have barely any experience here (but I do know I’m lucky enough to have more experience than most graduates that I know) and how am I supposed to get this “experience”.

I’m glad that I had someone dear to me explain about the phenomenal word of “Catch 22”. This is the worst !@#$ing Catch 22 that I’ve ever had experience with. The thing is that everyone knows this. Everyone knows this stupid little policy glitch we have in our corporate business life, but yet no one does anything about this. I have one guess, this is the best thing I can think of why it hasn’t been changed and that’s because “it’s usually just posted to scare off people who see the “2-3 years experience” and don’t apply.” (or I’m just trying to make myself feel better when I apply to them all)

Well you know what Company X… I’m going to apply to your job opening for a couple reasons.

1.     I desperately need to find a job because I need some money to spend on extravagant items that I think I own… but will sadly find out that those items surely own me.

2.     I believe I have about 23 years of experience with a solid 7 years of real life experience. I mean being a youngster in this day and age is surely 100x different than how others grew up and I think I’m pretty set with a basic presumption of how some things work. (by all means, I’m still clueless about 90% of the things out there)

Plus who knows, what if no one applied and I was one of the only ones that applied. With the luck that the other person had a spelling mistake and that only left me as the applicant. How sweet would that be! I guess that’s my dream of how easy this could be as right now, it’s difficult in trying to find the “perfect” job and the “perfect” career that I’m hoping for.  I’m surely about to become a regular at this local Internet café where the Internet slows down during lunch rush to an almost non-existent wireless connection.

I guess I'll never find out unless I try. So if anyone knows of some great jobs, shoot them my way.

Cheerio,

Alastar Swift 

The 1st Day of Job Hunting

Well I had planned today to be the first official day of Job hunting as I was going to stop by this Internet café and spend some time surfing job sites through out the day. Since I've been home from Taiwan I have been waking up at 5 or 6am and starting my days. It's crazy because I'm usually not a morning person and I've also been falling asleep around 10:30 or 11pm.. But this morning, I worked out, did some light reading in this amazing novel series call, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, (now I'm currently in the last half of the last book and it's one of those I can't put down books. I've also watched the movies... and sweet lord just like the Harry Potter movies.. they just put a disgrace on the book.) and watched a stand up comedy (Daniel Tosh's Happy Thoughts). This also means that I didn't get going until about 1:30pm, and I finally got to this internet cafe around 2pm. Then I find out that it closes at 3pm. Great job me.. right? Well the job hunting will have to be saved until tomorrow but I do have a couple things on my mind from the past couple of days...

Facing Fears

Especially, my fears. I faced my fear of traveling to a foreign country where I spoke barely any of the language.  Which lead me to meet some of the most amazing friends ever. That was great and it feels good to face your fears and conquer them, but at the moment I'm facing one the scariest for me. Life after college, this life doesn't have clear cut path... this has multiple paths, hidden paths, and risky paths. I had thought I had a pretty clear path when I was coming back from Taiwan, but it had fallen quickly apart as I arrive in the Denver Airport. This made me realize that I have nothing figured out which is scary as hell but at the same time I have the freedom to do anything and everything. I guess the most scariest thing for me to admit is that having so many options is quiet scary. At the moment, I've been searching for specific areas of the country that I would like to live in and then search for jobs in that area. I have also been thinking of jobs that I may be able to use my ability to speak Mandarine Chinese (well, the basics of it I guess.. haha)

One thing that I am currently struggling with is the thought of... Should I find a job where I know at least a friend in the area or do I just go for it, and go to a whole new city to start a new life. This is a hard part. I think I'm a pretty open and talkative person and easy to meet friend type of person.. but am I going to be able to do that when I put forth 40+ hours a week? I have a lot of ideas that I am wanting to do such as podcasts and maybe a video blog, since I have always been very interested in those areas.

1. because I have a lot of awesome friend that I would love to keep in touch with, and if I could have a good podcast going, invite them on it, talk about life, love, sports, and anything else. I think it'd be a great way to stay in touch with them all.
2. I also want to start something like this because I love to share my experiences with fucking up in life and showing what type of lessons I learned from it. (And boy, I have a lot of !@#% ups)

This next chapter in my life is driving me crazy but at the same time, I know I can pursue every single one of my dreams that I want at the moment. It's sad to leave somethings behind and some people as time just erodes friendships/relationships but sometimes we just have to take that and remember that it takes effort to keep things alive. 

Well I'm about to get kicked out of this internet café since it's about that time. Hopefully tomorrow I can come back and find that awesome 9-5 corporate gig! Gotta love life! (I wish there was a special font for sarcasm)

Well friends, I hope we can conquer our fears together because we all know it's scary as hell to face them. Until next time....

Cheerio,

Alastar Swift

Getting Back into the Swing of Things

I'm Sorry that it has been way to long since I've posted anything worthwhile. I hope you enjoy this super long post. I mean there nothing better than listening to music and finally writing down some thought from my amazing trip from Taiwan. Hope you enjoy and I'm sure I'll be writing more and more. Thanks again.

It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything down. The past couple weeks have been pretty busy as I have been spending more time with friends and exploring a little more of Taiwan. It’s weird on how I have spent more time with other things, while I haven’t really traveled much in Taiwan. I guess what they say is true, one semester isn’t really long enough for one to take it all in. There is just way too much to do in such a short length of time.

It feels like almost yesterday that I flew into Taiwan not knowing what I had got myself into. I remember the feeling of, “What have I gotten myself into and holy shit, did I make the right choice.” But as I begin to pack to travel back home, I realize that there wasn’t a better way to spend the past 4-5 months.

As always, I try to take things in and try to figure out the lesson in all of my travels/adventures. I’ve come to find out, it’s always a battle of balancing all the different things in life. Whether that balance is studying Chinese or spending time with friends, going out to see Taiwan’s night-life or waking up early to go travel, and trying to stay my healthy self or saying F-it and just eat whatever I want.

It has been tough to understand how all the different cultures work and how some things are similar while others are total opposites. If there is one thing I’ve learned it’s that I know absolutely nothing about this world. It’s been the best being able to learning all the different cultures and different ways of living as I’ve spent the past months living in the TKU international house.

I’ve always thought of myself being open and patient, but I was very wrong about that. I think the one major lesson I’ve learned from this study abroad program was to develop patience for everyone. It was a very hard lesson to learn as I’m used to my American self as we have very little patience with people that aren’t thinking before doing things. (Again a balancing act was in place here, do I just not care and go with it or should I be like, here this is an easier way… now this small sentence doesn’t apply to every situation that occurred but it gives a small incite.)

I’ve come to miss a lot of things from back home, but I’ve also come to love a whole new world of living. It’s been great to almost drop everything I used to do in America while picking up a brand new set of hobbies and way of living in Taiwan. This has helped me with figuring out what to spend time on in the near future when I will be working most of everyday and having to balance the small hours that I will be given as free time.

No matter how hard I try (not that I want to) I cannot stop playing basketball or the wanting to play guitar. But I’ve picked up a couple new hobbies while being here, learning Chinese and the want to keep learning new things. Exploring different options out there and just really experiencing things that I didn’t know what was out there. Going to Taiwan, it was like I was a kid in a candy shop. There were so many new and cool things that kept me entertain for a long time. That has inspired me to go get active within whatever community or city I plan on moving to when I find a spectacular job.

When I look back to the reasons I went to Taiwan, they really weren’t anything spectacular and very kind of selfish reasons. Selfish in a way that I wanted to grow personally, and ditch everything I had at that moment (job, friends, a very bright looking path, etc…) to see what was out in the world. I’ve talked about it before, but one of my goals in life was to travel the world. This comes from the fear of coming back to my hometown. I love my 父母 (fu4mu3- Parents) and my friends, but at the same time I view my self as a failure if I came back and started the first part of my post-graduate life there. I know it seems silly, but I’ve had that fear for a long time as I’ve seen people that graduate from high school and always come back. Year after Year, same friends, same personality, and I never wanted that. I will always keep my closest friends and that’s important to me, but the feeling of never taking a chance… I know I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. And sure, there is that chance that I may take that chance, it not working out, and I’d be forced to come back home. Well for those that think like that, I have two things for you to ponder. 

1. At least the chance was taken. The best thing that comes from that is that you learn something new about yourself. That chance may have taken up 1 year of your time and $10,000 but in my eyes its worth that expense to come to the realizations and personal growth. 
2. That’s not how you should ever think/feel. When taking a chance, a risk on something that you may have doubts that it is the right field, or you feel like it is right and everyone says no, the most important thing is to not think in a negative light. You should be like, “I’m going to go here, find this and that, do those things, and it’s going to be great.” 

Sure there is a  lot of fear involved but thinking that the chance, “could not” work out is silly. It’s like taking a chance, but believing it may not work out. It’s one of those oxymoron type deals…  

That's about it for today and I'll most likely be writing more often so it'll finally be worthwhile to check this regularly. 

Cheerio,

Alastar Swift

PS: I Miss All My Friends. Here's to all of you and hopefully I'll see you all very soon.

好久不見

Title: (hao3 jiu3 bu4 jian4) - Long Time No See

=========================================================

So it's been awhile since I've sat down and jotted some of the craziness that goes on in my head. It's been a busy past couple of week filled of the, "oh shit, I only have a couple weeks left in Taiwan!" So I've been trying to keep exploring and seeing what makes this side of the world "so different" as other's would put it. I may not have been jotting things down on this ole' laptop but surprisingly I made a few short posts in my notebook since I was hundreds of miles away from my laptop. So Here's #1

Sitting on the High Speed Rail (Taipei to Zuoying Station):

I'm sitting here (Car 4, 18D) looking out the window of the high speed train seeing the scenic night view of Taiwan as I travel from Danshui to Gaozhong. 

Left, Right, Front, and Back there are open seats but some are occupied. 

I see my reflection out the window and I think to myself... 

Damn, I've come a long way since high school. 

I have never really made a 5-year plan list where I graduated college. 

5 years ago I didn't really know anything, but I knew I wanted out of [My Hometown] and that I was going to travel the world. 

So far I have accomplished Part I of traveling the world. 

It's insane to think how much I've learned here already. 

From culture to new friends with a totally new view/perspective on life.

I've also realized all the weird things that I do that I should improve on or cut out. 

I guess it's about that time to truly try and give everything I do the same amount of effort I put on the basketball court. 

Here is #2, just some thoughts before I went to sleep:

It's crazy how much everything is different yet the same. 

Family here is Awesome, it may be because when I grew up family didn't play a big role for me. 

That's probably why I consider all my friends family. 

But this place [Taiwan] resembles everything that could happen in America or at least the same vibe/feeling. 

Sure the language barrier and definitely the different cultural things play it's role, but I really can feel at home here but at the same time it can be a whole new world. 

Language is the hardest thing but as I practice more and more I'm sure it'll get easier and easier.

People are people and geography may change enviromental differences and aspects but I feel that every human being has the same moral set. well normal human beings do. we will always find those ones who are a little off track and not all there. 

Remember We Are All One Race/Species...

Human Beings!

There are a few more jotted down thoughts and posts in my notebook, but I thought I should add a little something to this blog since it's been a while. 

It's just mind blowing to think that it's almost time to leave Taiwan. I just remember the first time I landed here and how I was just like... Oh Shit, what have I gotten myself into. This place has become one of the best places I've been too. The people, the places, the classes, and just everything I've done has been insanely awesome. It's funny how much time you have to think about your life when you can't speak all the time. It's brutally hard to be able to express and part take in all conversations since my Chinese is very limited at the moment. I've learned to listen 10x more and that sometimes I need to understand that I don't always need to express my opinion. So with all this time to think, I really have tried to sort of my life future and personal wise. It's tough to look at myself and find all the horrible things about me and the things I need to fix. It's tough to see our own flaws, but to continue to grow and become a better person I think we all need to take a step back from our lives and evaluate ourselves. When things get rough or things get down, we need to look at the situation and think: 

"What am I doing or not doing that is blocking me from what I want." "Can I fix this? and is this my fault that I'm not getting the outcome I want?" "What can I change to get what I want."

But then again, I'm a young 20-something... I know nothing about life. I still have some years to experience. I remember back in High School, I thought I knew everything to life. Baha! Awful, I look back now and think to myself... I was such a young-dumb-cocky-kid. I'm sure that in a few years I'll look back at myself now, and think the same thing. 

Good thing about life is that You can learn something new every single day. 

With that, I'll let you ponder about life and hope the best for you.

Cheerio,

Alastar Swift

PS:It's been way too long. Where have you been Stranger. Give this song a listen if you have the chance.

       A Rocket To The Moon - Baby Blue Eyes

A Day To Remember

Well... It's been a really long time since I've posted anything worthwhile for a bit. I guess it comes down to my excuse of always saying that I can't write when I'm having fun and life is going great. But when life hits me around the corner with a nice sucker punch to knock me down I always come back to this nice little place.

Taiwan has been amazing. And nothing that I could type nor explain could give the full realistic presence that I'm able to experience every single day. I'm surely going to miss this place when I head back to the States as I say goodbye to all the new friendships that I've created. But lately, It feel like I have been living a flash back life for the past few days...

It's been 3 years. Which seems like an eternity, but I've been re-living that exact night over and over again in my head. It feels like something that.. Actually, I know that I will never forget that moment. Nor the next few days that followed.

= 3 years ago =

I just finished my sophomore year of college, which I think may have one of the best years of college. First year of playing Lacrosse and made friends that I still have to this day and had countless amounts of memories from my apartment complex to lacrosse parties and to lacrosse tournaments. I arrive back to my good old home town. All my best friends just arriving back into town. Thinking. Man, this summer is going to be awesome. I had a great job lined up, planning to make upwards of 10 grand that summer. Just super stoked to be able to work with my best friend as we spent countless of hours roofing houses.

Roofing is a bitch of a job, but I loved every second of it. I always have this one memory when I look back to it all.

= 1 year before =

"It was one of those early morning gigs. Like most morning, 

He said, "I'll pick you up at 5:30 am" 

Another house. Which meant cash money. Couldn't turn it down.

He tells me, we need this front part torn off and ready by 10:30. Can you do it?

 I reply, "You know who you are talking to?"

We both laugh and he goes to buy materials/get the delivery of the shingles lined up.

Took about 3 hours and by that time. The Sky was that perfect blue with just enough clouds

to make you think, damn summer is here. "

This is where I think I have a slight photographic memory. Not amazing like some, but I definitely think I have a little ability in it.. I should practice this skill.... but this is the scene/ snap shot of what I will always remember. 

I'm standing there on the roof, completely finished the front part. Clean up is done and I'm just waiting for Billy to come back. I'm standing on top of the roof leaning on the shingle shovel enjoying the weather. But what my memory portrays is a 3rd person view. The scene zooms out to see the house as a whole, seeing the scenery in the background along with the blue sky and fluffy clouds that fill the sky. It stops at the certain point to where you can still see me standing on the roof enjoying a break as Billy's red truck comes into view from the highway with the lumber yards shingle truck behind him. That's the picture/memory that I will always remember. 

I'll also remember him saying, "Holy shit, I wasn't expecting you to be done." 

But back to that summer where we had lined up apartments and houses to fill the entire summer up. I really had a solid future planned out. Be that teacher that I've always wanted to and so that I could coach football and basketball. During the summers I would work full time with Billy at this construction firm. Man, I thought I had it all figured out. 

= May 15th, 2008 =

All I remember is I went to a Brave's baseball game in my hometown to meet up with Joe. Catching up about his first year of college and that we should play lacrosse this summer as I just joined the WSU team. I remember Billy calling me asking me if I wanted to go play basketball with him later that night as Waseca had started a men's league. I thought about it, but I realized that I didn't have shoes nor shorts and didn't want to go all the way back home and back into town. (For those that don't know, I live in the country. Yep. I'm a country boy.) I remember I just said, I'll catch you tomorrow. Especially to talk about the tattoos that we were planning to get in a couple of days. 

I just got home, just about to crawl in bed. My phone starts blowing up. Texts and calls from everyone. "Is he alright. I heard he died. Who died." I couldn't believe it. There was no way. Looking back, I remember that I knew everyone was wrong. There was no way he died. No way. I rushed downstairs grabbed my keys and sped to his house. I just kept saying, "his red truck is going to be there"... I get there, nothing. Somehow I stayed calm and said to myself he's probably just at his mom's house. 

This moment, I will never forget. This moment is what still haunts me at night. 

I pulled up. Got out of my car and walk to the house. I remember seeing Billy's sister's boyfriend at the time. On this cold summer night, I could only muster out the words, "Don't tell me it's true."

I don't think I needed to even see him nod to know it. I just collapsed on the ground. I don't think I've ever been such a mess before. I don't know how long I sat there, in disbelief. 

When I look back to that night, I see this 3rd person picture/scene, of me sitting there in the grass in the glow of the lights coming from the windows. I'm a wreck and just laying there face down. I can see Bobby and Luke come out to the car to make sure I'm ok. I also see people in the windows but in the form of black figures. I can barely see the night sky above the house but can clearly see the shine of the moon from behind the trees. Such a picture perfect scene but yet for such a terrible time in my life. 

It's been 3 years since that day. I was a pallbearer, probably one of the toughest things I have ever done. Forever putting my best friend, my brother, and the person I looked up to most down into the ground. Sadly, I haven't been back since. There's this road that goes to the cemetery but it has a left turn you can take right before you travel a few minutes to get there. I have sat in my car in that exact spot so many times when I go back home. I can never go forward. I always take that left turn. I do promise that someday I'll be able to do it. 

It honestly feels like it happened yesterday. It's crazy that some memories have such an impact on your life that it sets off all 5 of your senses and you can almost relive it. (at least tell me that I'm not the only one that has these memories) I know I have come a long ways from that day. I've learned a lot about myself and grown up quite a bit. (surprisingly...) I mean, I would have never thought I'd be on the other side of the world back then. I never thought I'd actually graduate college. I never thought I'd turn out to be a half way decent intelligent person. I guess it's just crazy for me to look back at my life and see how far I've come since then. 

I've learned how to play guitar 10x better than I was back then. I've finally come to an understanding of how to play basketball and I've actually read a few book for fun. I learned not to debate, but yet strive for dialogues where its not always about who is right but yet to understand where everyone is coming from. Most surprising, I can have a conversation in a whole new language. 

I just wish that I could reflect with you one last time. Maybe on that road trip to Mystic that we always used to take. But I should bring this to an end, as I know you would be kicking my ass if you knew how much time I have spent talking about you. 

Much Love and See you in the next life, BHP.

Nate Miller

PS. I just wish that all my friends could have met him. And I wish he could have met all of you too.

My Friend Procrastination

So I've been carried away with studying for midterm for which was the easiest thing in the world and also some test were completely impossible for me to do. Why you may ask, because a couple tests were all in Chinese characters and ZERO English. It's been a new struggle but at the same time, it is the best feeling when I sit in that desk and try to take a graded test in a foreign language. It reminds me back when I was in grade school and I got super stoked when I figured out what the question asked and then I knew the answer. I can only piece together a couple questions and kind of guess at what it is asking and then jot down the best guess I can write in Chinese. I think I hover somewhere above beginner and below advanced. They say people should spend 2 semesters abroad to get a grasp of the language and I'm starting to understand why. In the 2 months (give a week or so) I've been here I've improved greatly. I couldn't imagine how much I'd improve if I stayed in Taiwan for a whole year. It would be a crazy experience but at the same time this way of life isn't the way I want to live. It has been a great and unbelievable adventure (so far) but the lifestyle isn't for me. I'm way too picky and I miss being a health freak. (Organic food, raw vegetables and fruits, Milk, cheese, steak, and MEXICAN FOOD!) If this trip has taught me anything, it's that I love Mexican Food. Hands down the best. I always thought I liked it when I was in the States... but now since I haven't been able to eat it here in Taiwan I've realized that I love it. Tacos, burritos, nachos, chips & salsa, you name it! That is definitely one of the first things I'm going to eat when I get back home... that and Pizza.

Since it was midterms this past week, it consisted of a lot of studying and well procrastination. So I'm just going to go through a couple articles and things that distracted me and share my thoughts.

Giant Spider
- I personally hate spiders. and if you know me really well.. I'm a little girl about them. Don't ask me why, but have you ever heard of the Brown Recluse? I hadn't either until my roommate, Ty, told me about them. Scary stories about those things. They bite you and can leave a sick nasty scar on your skin because it's venom just eats away ate your skin... And just more motivation to be a little girl around them. F-those 8 legged things...

Guatemala Sink Hole
- This website is crazy (more articles to come from it). So this is a sink hole that just happened in a middle of a city. It reminds me of some plot of a Syfy movie and now some weird alien creatures will be flying out of that giant hole. I mean from the pictures it looks like there isn't a bottom to it. That is just crazy. It looks like it just ate a building up, forever sucking it down into the abyss. That is insane!

Door to Hell
- This is another giant hole in the planet we call, Earth. Except this one is on fire!? 24/7! That blows my mind and like the article states, the fire is kept alive by the natural gases that are coming from the hole. Imagine what could be down there... or even imagine if the fire made it all the way to the main source... Just a terrible disaster waiting to happen. Part of me wants to look down it, and part of me says to stay thousands of miles away from this fiery pit. Or as the article states, Door to Hell. Let's hope not.

The Rainbow Eucalyptus
- This tree is exact what I want growing in my backyard when I get older. Hands down this is one of the coolest trees I've ever seen. At first it reminded me of those old school Dr. Suess books and I was thinking, he had to have seen these things before he started making his trippy children books. If anything these trees would make one badass tree fort.

Underwater River
- This is probably one of the coolest things I've ever seen/ read about. I always knew that fresh water and salt water couldn't mix and one was heavier than the other but I've never seen anything like this. It literally looks like a forest and a river, which is just mind blowing. I always used to have this dream where my entire world was underwater. It almost always occurred in the Hartley gym where I was in elementary school. I remember that I always panicked because I thought I was going to drown but then I'd have to breathe to find out that I could breathe underwater. Which then became the best dream in the world. Anyways, this underwater river just reminds me that anything is possible in this crazy place we call, Earth.

I hope that you have noticed that they give suggested links and their website is very organized and user friendly.

Until Next Time,

Cheerio


Alastar Swift

Patience Is a Virtue... or at least that's what I've heard.

I remember how much I dislike studying. It's not one of my favorite things as I have to just reread and memorize all this stuff... and most likely I'll forget it in about a week or two. (or a couple days...) Today I just had to get out and do something I haven't done for a long time. I ran around TKUs track. They have a surprisingly nice rubber track and there are quite a few people running around the time of 10:30pm. Half way through my first lap I notice that TKU is on top of a giant hill and I was able to see part of the city just below with sky scrapers and light below. It was really awesome, especially being able to see light in the horizon on the hill side which is across a nice sized body of water. (I think it's the ocean, like a nice giant cove encircling it.) It was crazy to see and with the weather being perfect for running, it set up the best situation for... thinking and clearing my head. I just was able to realize everything that I have at the moment. It was crazy because I've never had time to just actually think about it. Taiwan is crazy. And I know I'm going to miss this very easy lifestyle. The relaxed and cheap life style. At the same time, I've realized I have some complicated decisions are arriving but I'm definitely ready to just dive in. (Since that's really the only way to do things, Right?) But I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. I'm straight up petrified of the options in front of me. I guess this is what people talk about, the next big chapter of my young life. No more college... I guess this is when I'm supposed to grow up and be a big boy now.

Surprisingly, I have created my own little quote for myself. (and I dislike quotes very much. weird)

There are no mistakes in Life, only Lessons Learned.

This has pretty much guided my life so that I don't dwell on all the negative things that never worked out for me. Usually I'm always learning something new about myself.. Things that I'm like, "Why do I do that" I've noticed that I do a lot of things without me even thinking about it. Its crazy to look back and to see all the changes I've made just because I started to think about why I did some of the things I [used] to do. One thing that I haven't yet understand about myself.. which is an awfully huge part of me, would be that I thinking about things constantly. Some of my good friends say that I over think things way too much. I've done a way better job from what I used to be from the past but it's a recurring thing sometimes. The only part that I don't like is that I realize I over think a situation and then say... fuck it I'm doing it, because I catch myself thinking too much. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing yet. Mostly it's worked out for the best but since I don't have the easy relaxed life coming up in a couple short months it's been on my mind. Well mostly because am I going to not be able to just say fuck it, and do something.. because pretty soon I'm going to have to face consequences that I can't just kind of shrug off.  At the same time, I would not be happy with myself having to think about every decision with a knowledge of every single outcome or consequence. So I guess I'll be able to do my... "Fuck it, I'm going to do this" for one more time before I get out in the "real world"

Most likely I'll still be doing this when I'm 60 just because I like to do things and make decisions on the fly.. yet I over think things all the time. Weird I know. I must be that weird kid everyone knows..... well I hope not anyways.

Cheerio,

Alastar Swift

Love4Music 4.0

As I sit here constantly writing numerous of Chinese Characters from Lesson 1 to 6, I keep youtube surfing for new songs. I've been doing this countless of times because I get sided track or bored of rewriting characters left and right. It's about 20 minutes before the test and I have no idea if all of these characters will be remembered as I enter the classroom today. But on the bright side I found some great new music that fits perfectly to my studying habits at the moment. I hope you enjoy listening to the string section as much as I do.. if not well maybe you should try it out.

These are all covers made by Vitamin String Quartet:

Semi Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind
Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard
Hey There Delilah - Plain White Ts
Californication - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Love Story - Taylor Swift
I Miss You - Incubus

Just a few.. I'm sure you will be doing the same thing I have been doing all morning/afternoon... My favorite hobby... Youtube surfing.

Enjoi,

Alastar Swift



Ps: Hope this cheers you up on a bad day.
Watch this video (but mute it) as you listen to this in the background.

It's that time of the Year Again! Mid-Terms...

So this past week and the week coming up has been full of tests that people have been studying for. This reminds me of every single week back in Dub-Town where everyone would study and I'd... well try to study. The beauty of being over here as a foreigner and having the teacher know that I have no idea what is going on is that I have an awesome advantage on test day. This past week one of the classes where I understand about 10% of what is said, we had a test. I looked at it and was like... I'm done. So I guessed on the multiple choice and just to fill in the radicals portion. The one part of the test (which was 50% of it) was fill in the blank. I sat there with a blank stare trying to figure out what I was supposed to do. I said F-it and rose my hand to ask the teacher what I was supposed to do. I didn't expect any help... but couldn't hurt to ask right? She smiled and just pretty much told me what I had to write in each blank. It was awesome. I still wasn't able to fill in all the blanks because I have no idea how to write every single character. I can speak more than I can write.. but I doubt she would have accepted pinyin without the correct tones. (Pinyin, is how most of the outside world learns how to pronounce Chinese characters.) After totally getting owned by that test (hopefully, I walk away with a passing grade...), something hit me. I think I need to focus on one part of Chinese. Speaking and Listening or Reading and Writing. I've been trying to do both at the same time which gives me a pretty nice base for both but at the same time... I'm still pretty awful (especially for how long I've studied Chinese...)

So now here's the hard part. Choosing either to put more effort in Speaking and Listening or Reading and Writing. I've been doing more Speaking and Listening since I've been here but that's only because I get to use it everywhere I go. I guess I've already picked speaking and listening... well since I just found a tutor to help me out every week and plus one of my friends in the dorm is willing to sit and have a conversation totally in Chinese with me. I've also had the chance to have to speak Chinese with my roommate. He only knows Japanese and he's in the same Chinese class as me. He speaks very little English, so we pretty much have to use Chinese or once and a while I bust out Google Translator. Which is awesome because now I have learned a little Japanese and I have taught him some English plus some American Slang. That's probably the best part, teaching people American Slang.

Besides from spending my time practicing my Chinese I've have been playing a lot of basketball around campus. I've ran into some very talented players while I've also ran into a lot of people that have a huge basketball ego and get mad when I shut them down. I'm lucky that I have two friends from the dorm that are very good at basketball. They are way better than I am and we pretty much make an in stoppable team. The only let down is that we are relatively short. Surprisingly with the Asian stereotype of being short... There are a lot of tall people on the basketball court that just dominate... but then again it's not that hard when a lot of people are about my height or shorter.

But this all leads to a job opportunity. If I really wanted to take a huge risk and start a business that I think that would flourish... I'd have to say that I'd come back here and start up a huge basketball school or training center. Create a private school where everyone just focuses on studies and mainly on basketball. Try to just turn out D-III to D-I basketball players and put Asia on the map for talented basketball players. Every time I watch everyone play I see some people that would be great players if they had someone to coach and teach them about the game. So maybe if I can't find anything in the states, I'll come over here change my name and start coaching. At the same time, this place is awesome but I miss a lot of American things. So it would be a hard decision.

Well I should get back to studying instead of finding ways to let procrastination take over.

Alastar Swift