Letters to Heaven

Dear Best Mother Fuckin' Friend (BHP),

Shit has been crazy since you've left this hectic place I call home. It's been a crazy fucking 3 years+ since I've seen or talked to you. I guess it's been killing me that I haven't been able to tell you a single fact of my life since and it deeply fucking sucks. As you can probably see from up above (or at least I hope you are looking down, ha!) I've almost done a 360 since you've remembered. I really don't enjoy drinking as much as I used to, and am at your level when you told me that same statement. I wish I could have understood you then, but I was still a young kid (still am) and just went with the liquid that murdered my liver. I guess I should probably start with the moment or at least the summer/college year when you followed that different path.

That summer, I had to go back to the school system... Shitty, I know. You always told me that you were going to get me a better job and had lined up enough houses and projects that you would leave me with 13k that summer. I had never been so stoked to work that hard in my life. But on the other hand, that summer at the school system wasn't bad. Joe and I got to work together and we put together several different obstacle courses to jump through.

That fall semester of college (junior yr) was pretty fucking tough. I think that is where I totally failed at life and took 13 credits. I wanted to be a teacher. of all things... a Math Teacher. That lasted... about a month when I realized that I'd have to stay in college another 2 years or so. I guess that shit didn't really fly with myself. (I'm not positive on why though)

That following semester.. You'd drop down and make fun of me all day and night if you knew this.. but I joined a fraternity. The best part is that you'd laugh your fucking ass off and be like "fuck yeah, nate!" when you heard the reason why I joined the fraternity. I convinced my roommate to join me with this "pledging" process so that it didn't look so bad. I honestly couldn't take my eyes off her. Little sad, I know.

I did join the "frat" solely on one reason. Yes, a girl. Surprising, I know... but another thing happened that semester that took my fear off of that after failing many times from even talking to her (and people say that I'm not shy... I'm shy as Fuck!) I remember you wanted to watch me play Lacrosse the spring before up at the Excel center (I still wish that you could have) but after my failing attempt at my dream girl, I really put a lot of effort into becoming a solid lacrosse player. You know me, there's nothing better I love than team comradery and competition. Of course, me being me at a measly 137 (lbs) I got worked up and down the field. It was the best.

Senior year of college (or at least the 4th year) I finally understood why you liked to smoke more than you drank. Imagine all the times we could have made cash money off Mystic playing 21 when we were up with the moon. I finally realized it, 2 years too late. I started watching too many documentaries and becoming one of those information D-bags. Learning how to take advantage of mere human being as I was being taught the college education of being a business student. Looking at customers/people as dollar signs, and how to make a dollar... I realize I was in the wrong profession. This was about the time when I got heavy into graffiti and skateboarding. You have no idea on how many times I ate shit on the pavement while skating drunk.

That spring semester... I don't even know how to put it into words. If there was one semester I remember when I'm that old-cocky-son-of-a-bitch at 90 I will remember this one. It's one of those when everything just goes right. Even when I did fuck up, somehow I found my way out of it and back on track. Remember that dream girl I had talked about before. Yeah after a long long year of working my awful game.. somehow it worked. Must-have been my "awesome" charm! haha, not. During that time, I regretfully quit lacrosse... It had gotten too political and it stopped being fun. I remember you always told me that if I'm not having fun it just isn't worth the effort. I started to let that health bug return and I became an awful... pure awful health nut.

That summer I found an internship that rivaled your pay, haha! It sucked they didn't pay straight cash like you did! I had to drive a total of 2 hours each day, had to juggle summer school and a long distance relationship. and I fell apart. I totally failed at everything. I always remembered you telling me that long distance relationships aren't worth it. Won't work because you said that eventually one of them will come to realize... WTF are we doing. but I'm going to have to go against you. They can work, it just takes a lot of effort. And of course it failed, but I still believe they can work to this day. Now I just have to find a girl that's willing to be in a LDR to prove ya wrong!

My 5th year. Holy shit. Talk about choices. It sucked. I told myself after BK that I wasn't going to be down about girls, but I was horribly wrong again. It was one of those, cliche, "who the fuck am I" moments. I wrote more, played guitar more, worked out more, and played basketball almost everyday. It was one of the best semesters I've ever had. I guess this one really is just a segway to the real story of this post.

I never knew that I would actually go to a foreign country. Where I barely knew the language. Where I didn't know a single person. Where no one really knew English. Where I could actually get lost and have that feeling of "oh shit, I'm actually and truly fucked." But I did. I traveled half way around the Earth to a little awesome country called Taiwan. There are countless number of amazing people I met. Countless number of stories that I can tell and just hands down experience that I wouldn't pass up for the world.

I guess all I really wish I could say is that I fuckin' miss everyday that I can't call you and say what's up like old times. I drive by your house, the one where we'd climb to the roof, and prank cars. You were the one that taught me that I should buy cheap bread and OJ along with a couple dozen eggs so that we wouldn't get caught. Even though it's been 3 years, it honestly feels like yesterday we were cruising around the lake and almost getting me killed in one way or another.

Regretfully, I'm on a huge health nut-kick where I'm expecting to live to about.. 250 years old, so I want to say see you soon, but.. I got a lot of shit to do down here.

Keep the Coffee Brewing