I've been wrapped into this terrible preface of, making sure that I don't make all the wrong choices. That everything I will be doing has some greater impact on my life and how I want to mold my future. I think I've been handling that area of expertise way to much. There no possible way for anyone to do that.
I've been trying to plan. plan everything. Which is the very opposite of what I enjoy doing. I rarely like planning things. I'm much more of a.. designer? Maybe I can explain, since I really can't find a word that works.
I've learned through the easy and the difficult things in life that everything can change in a heartbeat. And that planning (for me, anyways) does NOT work. I always seem to have these epic plans. Awesome plans that I'm so stoked about, that would make everything awesome and sweet. But to my surprise (every time, I think it'll work) it falls apart miserably.
So I'm trying this new thing called.. Life Designing. From my twenty-odd years of experience, I've learned that life is nothing I can plan for, all I can do is hope that I've remembered all the lessons from the dumb mistakes (I've made) and apply them to the events that come to me as I travel on this flying-rock of a planet.
I can't really prepare for the unexpected, but I can hope that I've learned enough to be able to make the right choices when the time comes. I have a few major events in my life where they had left me totally-and-utterly shocked because it all came out of nowhere. I only bring this up as there was no way I could have either 1) seen it coming or 2) even planned for something of that nature.
The only things that I could fall back on were the things I had learned up to that point, my Amazing Friends, and the basketball court.
I lost touch with myself as these few months have gone by with my awesome unemployment time. It has been the best bitter-sweet moment of time I've ever enjoyed. I've had more time to think... ignore... loathe... and love what my life has the potential to be.
I've been listening to this video almost every morning since a great friend of mine told me about it. Inspiration! Sometimes we have to leave everything behind, to go get what we really want in life. I've spent a lot of time in the local Barnes&Nobles looking through novels... and my new favorite, personal improvement section. I try to make sure most of them have something to do with Business, or something that I'm extremely interested in, but it's literally like a bunch of people explaining the crazy situations and events that have happened to them and they explain what they pulled from it. (What I usually like to do, is figure out what I would do in that situation... Is it 100% opposite or is it quite similar to what they had done?)
I scanned through this one autobiography which I randomly opened to a page and zoomed to a paragraph. I can't remember verbatim what he had wrote, but it was on the lines of...
Sometimes we have to realize the bad "friends" in our lives... the ones that aren't helping us improve. The ones that aren't there trying to help you reach your full potential. Sometimes you think you can just move to a new location and everything will change. Nothing will change unless you realize the type of people that are bringing you farther away from your dreams. You have to have the strength to want to improve your life, even if it means that everything you know, is such a awful environment for you to grow in this life. You only have one, why waste it.
That one got to me. I'm not sure why. But it really hit deep. I've yet to shake those thoughts my my brain. It's always funny to find what sticks and what doesn't. This quick glance of a paragraph, sticks yet... I spent countless of hours trying to get random business facts to stick in my head for test day... weird
I'll leave on this note. Listen to this song.
Until next time... Much Love
Alastar Swift
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