Patience Is a Virtue... or at least that's what I've heard.

I remember how much I dislike studying. It's not one of my favorite things as I have to just reread and memorize all this stuff... and most likely I'll forget it in about a week or two. (or a couple days...) Today I just had to get out and do something I haven't done for a long time. I ran around TKUs track. They have a surprisingly nice rubber track and there are quite a few people running around the time of 10:30pm. Half way through my first lap I notice that TKU is on top of a giant hill and I was able to see part of the city just below with sky scrapers and light below. It was really awesome, especially being able to see light in the horizon on the hill side which is across a nice sized body of water. (I think it's the ocean, like a nice giant cove encircling it.) It was crazy to see and with the weather being perfect for running, it set up the best situation for... thinking and clearing my head. I just was able to realize everything that I have at the moment. It was crazy because I've never had time to just actually think about it. Taiwan is crazy. And I know I'm going to miss this very easy lifestyle. The relaxed and cheap life style. At the same time, I've realized I have some complicated decisions are arriving but I'm definitely ready to just dive in. (Since that's really the only way to do things, Right?) But I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. I'm straight up petrified of the options in front of me. I guess this is what people talk about, the next big chapter of my young life. No more college... I guess this is when I'm supposed to grow up and be a big boy now.

Surprisingly, I have created my own little quote for myself. (and I dislike quotes very much. weird)

There are no mistakes in Life, only Lessons Learned.

This has pretty much guided my life so that I don't dwell on all the negative things that never worked out for me. Usually I'm always learning something new about myself.. Things that I'm like, "Why do I do that" I've noticed that I do a lot of things without me even thinking about it. Its crazy to look back and to see all the changes I've made just because I started to think about why I did some of the things I [used] to do. One thing that I haven't yet understand about myself.. which is an awfully huge part of me, would be that I thinking about things constantly. Some of my good friends say that I over think things way too much. I've done a way better job from what I used to be from the past but it's a recurring thing sometimes. The only part that I don't like is that I realize I over think a situation and then say... fuck it I'm doing it, because I catch myself thinking too much. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing yet. Mostly it's worked out for the best but since I don't have the easy relaxed life coming up in a couple short months it's been on my mind. Well mostly because am I going to not be able to just say fuck it, and do something.. because pretty soon I'm going to have to face consequences that I can't just kind of shrug off.  At the same time, I would not be happy with myself having to think about every decision with a knowledge of every single outcome or consequence. So I guess I'll be able to do my... "Fuck it, I'm going to do this" for one more time before I get out in the "real world"

Most likely I'll still be doing this when I'm 60 just because I like to do things and make decisions on the fly.. yet I over think things all the time. Weird I know. I must be that weird kid everyone knows..... well I hope not anyways.

Cheerio,

Alastar Swift