Just When I Thought I Had Life Figured Out...

It's been about 5 weeks that I have been in Taiwan. I think I have fully accepted... no that's not the word. I have finally figured out how this side of the world kind of works. Surprisingly, I can go out and talk in a different language grab food or buy groceries (may not be the best ATM, but it's 10x better than when I got here). Another thing that is crazy is that I can semi-go to Chinese to English and back, in conversations with friends. I still have to think about it a little but it's starting to feel a little natural. It's something that just blows my mind when I sit down and think about it. I can think back to when I was in Chinese 202 two semesters ago. I had hardly put any effort into it at all. I remember I was just so side tracked and that I kind of just settled for where I was. It's always been a life goal to be able to speak a different language because... well how sweet is it that I can speak to another person or friend and not every will be able to understand what we are talking about. The best thing that has happened right now is that I am able to study really hard and actually see benefit in the real world. I learn like 3 new sentence patterns in class and then I can actually use them outside of class here. In American it was hard to find people that you actually want to talk to that knows the same language. So I pretty much didn't even study nor really care outside of class to speak Chinese or even practice. But coming to Taiwan is just awesome. I'm able to speak it all the time or not at all. It's however much I choose, but the longer I'm here the more I pick up and the more I use it because it's so entertaining to speak Chinese.

Yesterday, something just clicked. The moment of walking back from 7/11 with my roommate and a carton of chocolate milk. Everything felt like it was falling into place but at the same time nothing in my life is in place. But that moment I knew that I made the right choice. The right choice of where I'm going in Life even though I have no idea where that road leads. I've realized that I was quite spoiled living back in Dub-town with Ty and how we had made that upstairs into a positive feng-shui type of place to be. The feeling of everything coming together isn't because my life is going somewhere but more of a realization that I don't and hopefully won't ever just settle because I'm happy where I'm at. Where at one moment in time, I was about to settle for a job at Walgreens because it seemed like how I should be living my life even though I knew it wasn't where I wanted to be. I guess realizing that I shouldn't forget about all my dreams and passions because I've hit a spot in my life where I'm happy and content. Over the years I've picked up and tried so many new things that I never imagined I would ever get to experience. But at the same time, I've also dropped some of my favorite past times because I don't have time or they aren't the easiest things to do. Picking up my old love of writing took years to bring back but there's not a moment where I think, "oh I wasted an entire morning writing." But I remember I once told someone that I had stopped writing because "I was happy and I only write when I was sad." What I have realized is that writing all around is just an awesome thing.

The one thing that has came to mind on this sleepless earlier 5am morning is that sometimes we get so carried away with this life and we always are chasing for that moment of happiness or fun that we forget about the moment we are "in". This moment has as much potential to have fun and bring countless numbers of tears and stabbing aches in your side from laughing so hard. I've chased after that moment so many times, until I realized that sometimes it's great to relax and focus on me. Focus on the goals that I've set for myself. Focus on all the things I want to accomplish and just do it. And that's the reason I know I have amazing friends is because they don't mind when I say that I'm just going to stay in on a Saturday night, listening to a podcast/ watch a documentary, and play guitar. Last night, for example.. Just 4 friends and I went out to eat for my bday. (I didn't want anything special because I've never really been a big birthday person) but I've never laughed so hard in my life in a restaurant before. That's what helped me understand that I should stop trying to plan my life but instead just go with it. Of course there are things that I'm trying to plan and that I need to plan certain aspect of my life, but I feel that happiness and fun really can't be planned.

Life is full of craziness and everyday I'm learning something new about myself whether it be my insecurities or something that helps me understand something better. Everyday should be full of things you want to be doing because at the end of the night... you're the one that has to fall asleep.

Just like my friend quotes me, "There are no mistakes in Life, just lessons learned..."

Much Love from the other side of the World,

Alastar Swift



PS: Something new I might add,

And maybe it's not my weekend, 

but it's gonna be my year, 

and I'm so sick of watching 

while the minutes pass as I go nowhere...

All Time Low - Weightless

Love4Music 3.0

The one thing that keeps me sane from all the insanity that happens in this little world we call "earth" is the love of music. I've been introduced to some new music but at the same time I'm not much of a fan of it. It's probably because it's pop music at it's finest or its the fact that I can't understand a single word of the song. But I do try. But sometimes I just have to go back to my favorite pastime... surfing Youtube for favorite songs that I wear out constantly from listening to them 24/7... These songs are pretty old and but I always hit a long gap where I stop listening to songs and then pick them up again after a few months of not listening to them. These aren't new songs to me but at the same time they have brought a whole new perspective to my life at this moment in my life. I hope you enjoy them as much as I currently do.

Dub FX - Love Me or Not
- I love this song.. I love the beat, I love the harmony, and most of all the lyrics are just.. Quiet Simply couldn't be any better. This man shows pure love for the creation of music and that's what I enjoy most. It also reminds me that I always have to keep moving ahead no matter what even if our chapter is over or if a new chapter is just beginning. "What will the world bring..."

I guess it's only been 10 days since my best friend's birthday and it's still on my mind how much I've changed over the years. I'm also granted to be able to see and hang out with him in my dreams the past few weeks. They are bittersweet but I would never wish them to stop. This song just has so many meaning to me that it's crazy. I guess that's what happens when I find a musician that love music as much as I do. Maybe I connect to this song so much because this is how I kind of view my life and that I simply couldn't explain it any better than Dub FX has done. This is only a one song post for the sole purpose of [me] wanting to have you experience "youtube surfing." Dub FX has many more songs that I wanted to post up but it would be great to share the feeling of finding a great song that you just want to share with your friends. Have fun and try "youtube surfing" for your favorite type of music!

Enjoi and Cheerio!

Alastar Swift


PS: If you don't want to youtube surf nor have time. Let me give you a link to see this artist perform live.
Dub FX - Made ... This video show's how he makes his songs. This is why I enjoy listening to his music.

2nd Chance Dreams.

The topic that's been on my mind for the past 5 days are the things that I have regretted for 3 years. I dislike the quotes of living life without regret because I don't believe you can honestly live the life you want without having to make a choice that defines your life as you know it. Many people live their life without ever making that decision but does that eat them from the inside? Never being able to do what they really want to do, never possessing the confidence to put out their words and ideas at the fear of being disregarded. I couldn't imagine that. I struggle to keep my opinions and expressions to myself for 15 minutes of listening to my Professor in Taiwan speak about his wild generalizations and blatant misconceptions. I become so antsy, where I can't stop moving my legs and tapping my fingers or pencil. I'm forced to raise my hand (or speak out, which is common in these classrooms). The best thing in this life so far that I've discovered is the fact that I can learn something new each and everyday. It can be anything and that's the beauty of it. One day I could learn about the biggest caves in Asia or the next hour I could learn about the psychology of the human mind. To even build off that extent, watching documentaries aren't everything when I want to learn about the world. The best place to learn is what's right in front of you. The people that you interact with everyday. They know something that you don't. It could be the craziest information or story that you would have never thought about. It could be an opening to a whole new feeling that you never knew existed by listening to them explain what happened to them in the past.

That leads me to my next point. I will never. ever. understand the culture over here. No matter how hard I try to understand where they come from. I should re-phrase that. I have trouble understanding why they don't think about the things they are doing. Many times when I have asked why they do a certain thing or do a certain action, they answer me with a, "I don't know." or "It's just the culture." I guess it's something that I shouldn't hold myself accountable for since I've only been here for a little less than a month but at the same time... I've been told I'm a little brighter than the average human being or I just have to high of standards for myself. One aspect comes from that even though I'm on the lower side of the middle class in America, over here I'm definitely the "rich" kid. I have seen people take care of the littlest things because here it is 2 steps above being a 3rd world country. The food is so cheap because the money supply of the average customer is so small. For example, on American campuses everyone almost has an ipod. I haven't noticed near as many on this campus. This also bring me to a great aspect. People actually talk to people on campus and on the way to class. There's many times when I wondered on campus back in the states and everyone is looking down or avoiding eye contact and listening to their music. Taiwan is great to see people smiling and having a good time.. instead of the opposite.

Clothes, shoes, hair style, and glasses are just huge part over here. Clothes, Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister, and American Eagle are pretty huge over here and they are willing to pay top dollar for these. Shoes. The more color and flair the better. Timberlands are everywhere and are shown off to a T on every single guy and girl. They are willing to tuck in their skinny jeans into their boots just to show everyone how sleek and shiny their Timbs are. Hair styles. The guys I know spend about an hour and a half to get ready. Most of the guys own a hair dryer and have plenty of hair products to rival some of my ex girlfriends. Now I don't have anything against looking good and trying to pick up your favorite girl... but most of these guys aren't trying nor willing to talk to that said girl. Maybe it's the American culture for being the only reason to look good is to pick up that cutie that sits in the front left in your favorite class to skip. The best fashion that I've noticed while being here is the fad to wear fake glasses. People who need glasses hate wearing them and people who don't need them will buy huge frames just to wear. No lenses, just the frames. That's one of the things I just can't wrap my head around. It's culture I guess, right?

Being here for a month, I have no idea how this will help me grab my dream job. The only thing I can say is that I will definitely not forget the things I've encountered nor the people I've met. One thing that I have learned is there is no doubt in my mind that I do not want to do any sort of business on this side of the country. Flying over to this side of the planet feels like I just hopped into the Delorean and time traveled back in time. Everything from outside activities (drinking, not drinking, playing board games and card games, etc.) to just how people are make me feel that I just don't belong. It's crazy to see how people live their lives and compare and contrast to what I'm used to... One thing I have noticed is there are a lot of Mom&Pop shops that sell food. I mean that's true love right there. Seeing your significant other all day, working side by side, and then going back home with them.. Every single day. I doubt that could ever happen in America, I remember when some of my friends are always like.. argh, my gf is coming over... or aah I wish I could but I have to hang out with my gf. (I'm not sure if it works vise-versa where the girls complain about hanging out with their bf..) But I give props to these Mom&Pop shops. That's awesome, that makes me want to find a girl that I could fall asleep to and wake up to everyday and just love it.

Next blog I'll post some pictures so that it's more looking rather than reading. I've just been forgetting to take pictures. So I'll write on my hand, "Take a Picture." It's just that I enjoy the moment and the last thing on my mind is.. I should take a picture of this.

Until next time,

Cheerio & Enjoi

Alastar Swift


PS: Some days I feel in control of the game and others I feel like I'm losing. Should I just put it out there or sit here just wondering.

Memories Are A Way to Visit the Past

I remember the first day I had ever met you like the first day I ever tasted chocolate milk. I'll never forget it and it's something I wish I could have everyday. It was a late summer night and I was just a little guy at the tender age of 12 or 13. You had won this giant stuffed animal from one of the carnies and were off to the same house I was going to. Jasken's fair party. It was always Jaskens and I hanging out all the time and he was one of your best friends. It was the summer before 8th grade. I know this because that's when we started to become best friends. It really didn't happen until the spring. Baseball... who would have thought that this sport would have brought us to together. 8th grade baseball had the A team and B team. I got cut from the A team and got sent to the best baseball season ever. I don't think I have had that much fun playing such a boring sport. You manned Short Stop and I played 3rd base. I always gave you shit about the only reason you got to play SS is because I knew you couldn't play any other position and I didn't want to take your spot. I remember days at practice where I tried to teach you how to swing a bat. Oh man, I just remember how awful you were. But when you hit that ball you either hit a small grounder or you smoked that thing. Thinking now I probably should have forced you to use a bigger bat... We pretty much came inseparable playing that side of the field. We said screw sunflower seed. So we would always buy that giant bag of jolly ranchers and you always ate the ones that I hated. You took the Lemon and Watermelon. I'd take the Cherry and Apple. We always thought we were badass having this huge jolly rancher in our lip and going out and playing the field...

The one game I'll never forget is the first game we won of the season.  It was against one of our rivals. I always was the lead off hitter and the first at-bat I just smoked one dead center for a triple. After that I knew we had this game. I think that game we turned 3 or 4 double plays. Me to you to 1st base. I'm sure we could have turned at least 5 or 6.. maybe even 7. But you and that shoulder of yours gave out. You had such a sweet diving stop but I knew something was wrong when you tried to throw the ball to first and it barely made it there. That forced me to switch to SS. This is when I pulled off the most amazing inning ever. Top of the last inning (can't remember if we only played 7 or if we played 9) game is tied and I just belt another one to dead center for a triple but the throw was off and I just easily jogging into home. The best part of this inning was when we were playing the field. I turn a double play (6-3) and BAM! game over. We won and you were just so stoked even when your shoulder was all jacked. You were like, "dude that play was so sick, You literally jumped off 2nd base, dove, caught it, and picked off the guy at first."...

I think that summer I probably spent every single day and if not spent the night every day. I can't even remember all the things we used to do. I do remember our freshman year you made me join this crazy YLVC club for this girl you wanted. You always chased after the older girls and I thought it was cool so I tried too. (I guess this is why I'm such a good wingman. I've been doing it for so long) You convinced me to go to this camp where we stayed in log cabins with a bunch of YLVC members from the state. We rode the short bus all the way up to the cities... I was sleeping until our crazy teacher/driver smoked the car in front of us during rush hour because she had the map blocking the entire view of the windshield. I slam into the seat in front of me and I just remember waking up to you laughing your ass off. After that, we talked to R.L., T.U. and K.L about some really random stuff... You were after KL and I tried my luck with RL. Freshman boys going after Junior girls. Go big or go home right? I just remember that weekend was terrible. The only highlight of that weekend was making that badass fort with our bunks and mattresses because we both failed miserably with those girls. The things you did for girls... but I think it's rubbed off on me though.

The best part was learning how to play basketball from you. It was your first love and it showed. You were so passionate about the game. It was easy for me to decide to pick it up because I saw how happy you were when you got to play. So I decided to go out for basketball in 9th grade. I was absolutely terrible. But you stuck with me and kept working with me. I think we played 1v1 and PIG all the time. I don't think I started to become somewhat average until the next year on B-squad. Where I started a few games. I think the best game was when it was you, foels, and I starting as the guards. Man that was a great game, even though only foels, paulson, and I scored.

Basketball kind of hit the back burner about junior year. Where we both had girlfriends. Kind of bummed that it happened but it was pretty hard for us to juggle our girlfriends, sports, and making sure we caused enough mischief each day. This might have been one of the best years we had. It was one of those moments where we thought we were just kings. Everything was going right for us and thought nothing could stop us. The first trimester we took a 4th hour study hall. The longest hour of the day because of the 3 lunch periods. Remember all the times we skipped school and went to McDonalds or to our friends place to watch them drink and go back to school. The best was the 2nd tri-mester when we had 1st hour study hall. We both put in a form saying we were working for our parents in the mornings so we could just sleep in. It was great especially for the long away games we had at night. I think every morning I'd pick you up to go to school. Otherwise, I'd spent the night and we'd talk about girls and listen to music. You taught me pretty much everything that I needed to know about girls. Surprisingly, I still remember it all. But you helped me with all my girl problems by either telling me what to do or getting that liter of vodka and being like, "call your mom and tell her you are staying the night." I'm glad that I learned how to drink alcohol with you and your cousin. If it wasn't for that I'm sure that I wouldn't 1) be able to handle my alcohol and 2) be as much of a fun drunk as I am. That first night I still laugh thinking about it. We were watching the newest American Pie movie and we were drinking red kool-aid and Silver Wolf. All the crazy things that happened and your mom still didn't hear us at all.

The rest of high school went pretty fast for us. We hit some bad times where we didn't speak to each other. I learned a great lesson from that though. Fighting with your friends because of a girl is not worth it. And I'm glad I learned it being pissed off at you. I remember we almost got into that huge fist fight at school when I came up to your locker, slammed it shut, and stared at you. I'm pretty sure you wanted to hit me as hard as I wanted to you. It probably would have went down if BK didn't stop it all. I can't remember what happened but after that somehow we got over our little girly fight. Senior year blew by and it all just happened way to fast. I never told you but man I was really proud of you for finishing and graduating high school. I know you really didn't want to but I convinced you that I'd be your tutor and other things to make sure you finished. It was tough for you since you worked every weekend 3am to 3pm. and missed school every Friday due to the work schedule.

Then college hit. I know this really made you felt out of the crowd. With all of us talking about our different college friends and different things we were doing, I know you felt out of place. I tried my best to make sure that didn't happen and signed us up for that dodgeball league and you signed us up for that awesome sand volleyball league. Those were some of the best summers playing sand volleyball with our team and beating up on every team except for those old guys for old world. Every Thursday night we'd have a fire and cook food afterwards and drink beer. You, Joe, and I would climb your apartment's garage for fun and throw things at Peter and Matt. Sadly, it was short lived...

The invincible life that we once lived came to a reality. I've never been at a loss of everything like I was that night. I've come a long ways from that night, from meeting unbelievable friends, spending weekends in hotels in different cities, and falling hard for a girl. But I'll never forget that night... outside of your parent's house, late night, cool breeze, sitting there in the grass just speechless...

I'll never forget the memories that I have with you nor will I ever forget what you have taught me. You were and are the most influential person in my life. I always looked up to you like my big brother. You introduced me to my two favorite loves in this life: Basketball and Guitar. And for that, I can't thank you enough.

My favorite thing to remember was almost every morning after I spent the night, we would build up little forts and shot rubber bands at each other for hours. Or the countless summer nights we spent under the street lights playing ball at the middle school courts. It took me so long to pick up a basketball after it all happened but I'm glad that I picked it back up. I had so much fun playing at my last bball tourny. Wish you could have seen it.

Much love from the other side,

Nate Miller


PS: Take a second and reflect on who are most important to you with this song.

Happy 23rd Birthday BHP.